Am I Clear On What I’m Actually Deciding?
There’s a question that comes before most significant decisions.
It’s not, What should I do?
It’s, What am I actually deciding?
When you ask What should I do? too early, you’re trying to solve something that you might not fully understand yet.
You skip straight to options, weighing pros and cons, analyzing scenarios, while the real decision remains unnamed beneath the surface.
This is why decisions feel stuck, even when you’re actively working on them.
You’re solving the wrong question.
When you name the real decision, something shifts.
Not because it’s easy, but because it’s clear.
You’re better able to see what’s at stake. You can identify what information you truly need. You can stop spinning on surface-level options and start addressing what matters.
Often, the decision you think you’re facing isn’t the decision that needs to be made.
For example:
“Should I have this difficult conversation?”
might actually be,
“What am I avoiding by not having it?”
The surface question keeps you busy.
The real question creates movement.
So how do you find the real question?
You slow down long enough to ask, and honestly answer:
What’s underneath this?
Not once. Multiple times.
Keep asking until you reach the level where the question feels more honest, and often harder to say out loud.
Here are a few signs that you may be working on the wrong question:
You keep circling the same analysis without making progress
You have all the information you need, but the decision still doesn’t feel clear
You’re waiting for certainty that never arrives
The decision feels more complicated than it should
When this happens, pause.
Resist the urge to gather more data.
Instead, ask:
What am I actually deciding here?
Clarifying the decision allows you to address what’s actually at stake and move out of “stuck.”
The next time a decision feels heavy or unclear, ask yourself:
Am I clear on what I’m actually deciding, or am I trying to solve a question that I haven’t fully named yet?
That’s where Decision Clarity comes in – not with the answer, but with seeing the real question.
