When a Leadership Decision Changes You (Not Just the Outcome)
Some decisions change your circumstances.
Others change you.
You can usually tell by what lingers after the decision is made.
If what remains is mostly logistics, how to implement, who needs to know, what comes next, the decision changed your situation.
But if something feels different in how you see yourself, how you show up, how you think about your role, the decision changed you.
That kind of change can feel disorienting.
You can’t go back to who you were before certain decisions.
The role you stepped into.
The conversation you had.
The direction you chose.
Something shifted, and it wasn’t just external.
This is the part of leadership few people talk about:
Not just making hard decisions, but living with the version of yourself that emerges afterward.
How to Know a Decision Has Changed You
A decision has changed you when:
The previous way of leading no longer fits.
Not because you don’t want it to, but because you can’t unsee what the decision revealed.
You feel in between identities.
You’re no longer the leader you were, but not fully the one you’re becoming.
You’re questioning things you once took for granted.
Your leadership style. Your boundaries. What you thought was non-negotiable.
Others respond to you differently.
Your team, peers, or boss are adjusting, and so are you.
You feel grief, not regret.
Grief for the version of yourself who didn’t yet have to make this kind of call.
If this resonates, you’re not stuck in the decision.
You’re navigating the identity shift that came with it.
Growth is messy.
Transitions are disorienting.
You don’t have the old playbook anymore. But you haven’t fully developed the new one.
This is leadership in the in-between.
Discomfort here isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong.
It’s often a sign you’re growing.
When a Decision Changes You, What Helps
This isn’t about fixing yourself or going backward. It’s about navigating the shift wit intention.
Name what’s happening.
You’re not failing. You’re in transition.
Allow the in-between.
You don’t need all the answers yet. This phase is formative, not permanent.
Ask, what leadership requires now.
Not before. Not ideally. Now.
Don’t carry it alone.
These shifts are hard to see clearly from the inside.
Trust that you’re evolving, not losing yourself.
You’re integrating who you were with who you’re becoming.
The question shifts from:
“How do I get back to who I was?”
to
“Who am I becoming, and how do I lead from here?”
You can’t go backward.
Only forward, often through the in-between.
That’s not confusion.
That’s integration.
This week’s reflection: Has a recent decision changed you–not just your circumstances, but your sense of who you are as a leader?
If yes:
What’s emerging?
What does leadership require of you now?
If you’re in that space and want a steady place to think it through, that’s the work I do with leaders and leadership teams navigating transition and complex decisions.
When the timing is right, let’s start with a conversation.
